Remember the story of the Little Red Hen? She wanted a loaf of bread. To get the loaf of bread it was going to take a lot of work. Planting the wheat. Harvesting the wheat. Grinding the wheat. Baking the bread. It was not easy to do.
She asked for help. She asked a lot of animals for help. No one was willing to do the work. But she still wanted that loaf of bread. So she did all the work all by herself. And, then, when she had the bread, well, all the animals she asked for help were right there to reap the rewards of her hard work. What happens? We cheer for the Little Red Hen who tells them that, because they didn’t do the work, they don’t get any bread…and she eats it all herself. Good for her!
This story is a lot like being a woman, except the ending is different:
Instead of telling all those people who didn’t support or help in all the hard work to bugger off, women give away the bread, sometimes keeping only a small piece for herself. After all, she doesn’t want to be selfish, and she cares about people. And then she’s tired and resentful and depressed. Then people wonder what’s the matter with her attitude, and she feels guilty for harboring bad feelings.
So, if we cheer for the Little Red Hen, why don’t more of us act like her?
Our lives are not easy. We all can use some help. But we can’t 1)wait for or expect the help to come, and 2)give away our accomplishments.
Being passive and complaining about how mothers are thought of and treated doesn’t change anything. Being active does. If you are waiting for your prince to come–that is, waiting for people to suddenly get a clue and give you the recognition and support you deserve–you may be waiting for a very long time.
Go for what you want. Work for it. Ask for help. If you don’t get it, keep going. Don’t give up or become discouraged. When obstacles come (as they will) don’t think you can’t do it…adjust the timeframe towards reaching your goal or your methods and keep going. When people are naysayers, be kind, smile, tell them, “Well, I’m going to do/pursue/work on X anyway,” and do what is right for you.
And, when you reach your goal, do not give your accomplishment away! Take pride in your accomplishment. It’s not gloating or being selfish to be happy for achieving what you want. You tell your kids to be proud of themselves when they work hard and do something well, right? Why should you think differently?
Remember, those people who did not support you along the way, who may have even offered unsolicited advice and criticism, are not necessarily going to be happy for you. Some will be. Others will be jealous. Others will say you are selfish not to share your reward. Those people are the animals in the Little Red Hen. It’s natural to feel sadness when people do not support you. Turn that sadness around and feel sorry for those people instead…they are the ones who are not following their own minds and hearts, who are not willing to do the hard work, who are still waiting around for things to happen rather than making them happen.
Believe in yourself. Take pride in yourself. Go get what you want.
Be the Little Red Hen!
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