Just when my husband and I were feeling secure about our financial situation…our septic system failed. As in, our entire leach field must be replaced.
When the engineer informed us that it was indeed irrecoverable, I laughed.
Yes, laughed.
The engineer probably thought I was nuts. My husband already knows I am, so I’m not worried about his opinion. (By the way, my husband is quite correct. I am nuts.)
You see, I’m quite comfortable with the fact that my life will never be in a perfect state. Something is always going to be “wrong.” Our finances might be great and our child will be very ill. Our finances may be in the toilet but my children are healthy and excited about starting school in the fall. My husband might have to work out of state to support us, but he is employed in a bad economy.
It’s always something.
I had to laugh over the septic situation…because it just figures it would happen right now. God, the universe, fate, or whatever has an incredible sense of humor.
This weekend was probably the most challenging weekend of my life from an emotional perspective. We just do not have the cash reserves for replacing a leach field. We are among the thousands of families with excellent credit scores and never a late payment who have had credit limits reduced…so we do not have the available credit to finance it. (So much for our goal of paying off our credit cards, making so much more than minimum payments…I guess we should have put the money into savings instead.) I can go to work at a traditional job while maintaining my freelance contracts, but my new employer is not going to give me a several thousand dollar advance. We do not have any extended family from whom we can ask help. Oh, and did I mention it is pouring rain outside?
But one of my daughters just came dancing–yes, dancing–though the kitchen singing, “I love my computer!” (She was given an old laptop for homeschooling, and it’s been acting up for a week until my husband fixed it today.) She’s now going to make her signature chocolate-chip cookies. My other two children and my husband are laughing as they play a board game. A former college student of mine just sent me an email thanking me for being a huge influence in her life. I have an iPhone–a refurbished 3G with 8G, but it works and I love it. I don’t have a lot of friends, but those I have are the best in the world. (They’re taking me out for a cosmo this week since I’m having such a cruddy one…which makes the week not quite so cruddy.)
Sure, things are pretty bad. Things are really, really good, too.
And when I start down the pity-party road, I remember that all my kids are alive, that my husband is not fighting in Iraq, that my husband has not been laid off, that our cars all run….
As soon as the septic system issue is resolved–however it gets resolved, and it will be resolved one way or another–I know something else is going to come along and cause drama. I also know that many, many wonderful things will be in my life. I can control how I react to all of it, and I can decide to be proactive about resolving the problems I have. Wallowing in sadness does not help the problem, my family, or myself. Celebrating my blessings is the only productive–and positive–choice.
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